After a divorce, minor children may have a hard time adjusting to their new circumstances. Everything safe and secure in their lives is suddenly different.
Even with the assurance of both parents’ continued love and care, children may feel insecure. The addition of travel between two homes may add to this, leading to feelings of transiency and instability, as well as interfering with normal childhood activities like school and extracurriculars. Nesting, where each parent takes turns staying with the children in their family home, may help alleviate this. However, nesting is not right for every family and parents need to ask themselves a few questions before they choose to pursue it.
1. Is this financially feasible?
Nesting requires the parents to maintain three homes, the family home and one for each one to reside in when not with the children. This means each parent must maintain one and a half homes individually, and not everyone has the financial means to do this.
2. Will work interfere with this?
If a parent’s job requires them to move frequently, nesting may not work for him or her. Similarly, if he or she does not normally travel but anticipates a move in the near future for a promotion, nesting may not be an option.
3. Is the co-parenting relationship peaceful enough for this?
Ideally, co-parents disregard their relationship with each other to focus on the well-being of their children. In reality, if the parents have a relationship fraught with tension, it can leak over onto their offspring. Nesting requires detailed coordination and close cooperation. Parents who cannot interact peacefully may not be able to handle it.
4. How mature are the children?
Two factors that influence how well children adjust to a divorce are their ages and their maturity levels. Older and more mature children may not need nesting as much; younger children, though they may need its comforting effects more, mean a longer commitment to the arrangement since they will remain in the home longer. Parents may need to decide on whether or not to consider nesting after starting based on how mature their offspring are.
According to Gitnux, divorce results in long-term negative impacts on 30% of children with divorced parents, from mental health problems to academic and social decline. The upheaval of divorce and new lives can seriously affect children’s mental and emotional well-being. Nesting can help ease their adjustment, but parents need to consider many factors.
